sykotic_runner ([info]sykotic_runner) wrote,
2005-12-22 02:47:00
  • Mood: awake
  • Music: Bat Country - avenged sevenfold

Lost

Lost in life... but its not like i have no direction at all. I'm gonna try and work on my self control. Slow down on drinking/smoking/caffiene and put more time into eating health/exercising/reading. Man, i really need to figure out my girl situation. Only got a couple dates left with Lanie and if I can't tell her i want a relationship 100% of the time by then, then its all over. haha, just today i went back and forth, no surprises there, about whether i should stay with her or not. I laugh, but really it sucks not being sure of your feelings. In any case i need to watch my drinking. I was damn close to chasin after a different girl at my cousin's party last night but the thought of Lanie held me back. I don't want to be the guy that cheats on his girl. I don't know everything i believe, but i do have faith in integrity. Almost smoked weed for the first time since amsterdam last night too but once again i held back. Not sayin i'll never do it again, but there is a time and place for everything and i don't want to encourage that kind of behavior around my younger cousins. Still, i was the first to pass out from drinking and got marker drawn all over me. Spent a solid 30 minutes this morning dowsing myself with rubbing alcohol to get it all off. Maybe i should take a break from parties for a while... or maybe i should just work on more self control. I'm thinking doing both would be the best idea. Damn, its December 22 and i've only shopped for one person on my x-mas list and i didn't even get her whole gift yet... haha, gotta love procrastination.

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  • 4 comments

[info]oh_so_1337

December 22 2005, 10:02:26 UTC 6 years ago

oh eddie, you make me smile

you lush you

[info]genius327

December 22 2005, 14:04:56 UTC 6 years ago

i think that's pretty admirable eddie, to star settling down. I suppose I've done more of the same, what with the tennis for 4 hours everday and then being so exhausted. But yeah man its good to be "pure" for a couple of months. Until Finals :) hehehe, *evil laughter*. And i like the "faith in integrity", thats very respectable as well. Anyways take care, and post more on journals, or else how do I keep up with what's going on with you man?! Happy Holidays

[info]smartash777

January 2 2006, 03:53:52 UTC 6 years ago

Well I realize it's been a while since we've talked to one another...but this journal entry intrigued me. Get ready for a novel ;). Actually I didn't even know you had a journal, so this is the only entry I've ever seen. Since it's been like a week since you wrote the last entry, you may have already figured out your girl situation, but I figured I'd give you an encouraging word or two. I feel weird telling you this...but oh well. If you really like this girl, and you have fun with her, if she's someone you can see yourself spending a lot of time with, what do you have to lose? You can be in an exclusive relationship without being incredibly serious. Do what makes you happy, Eddie. Every time I've been wavering in a decision, it wasn't because I didn't already know what I wanted deep down...it was because I was scared of what I would lose if I made the wrong choice. Don't let possibilities of things that might not even happen control the choices you make today.
And on another note, I respect you for making the choice to be a good role model to your cousins. A lot of people wouldn't even think about that. So good luck with the partying less/control/whatever you decide...and also the love life lol. Man, life gets so complicated...another perk of getting older ;).

~Ashlie

[info]sykotic_runner

January 5 2006, 08:09:43 UTC 6 years ago

Thx for the feedback! I really liked 'Don't let possibilities of things that might not even happen control the choices you make today.' That is definitely what I have been doing lately. Still, i hate the idea of settling down and having it be the wrong choice but i guess as long as its not an incredibly serious relationship then there isn't a whole lot to lose. The '4 date' thing is out the door and instead of me having to tell Lanie that i was 100% sure of how i felt about her she ended up telling me she wasn't 100% sure how she felt bout me either which made things a lot less stressful somehow. I'm starting to think its okay to not know, thats kind of the reason for dating in the first place.
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